The Best Ride
Okay, everyone! Here we go. In two weeks, we'll have a baby. Well, it could come earlier, of course. But, as you all know, the plan is for our surrogate to get induced on August 2nd. So yeah...In about 2 weeks we'll have our lil' pan dulce.
This post will be mostly pictures. Although I have a lot on my mind right now, I need to keep this simple.
People keep asking "how you feeling?" In short, I am really excited to meet our baby and get to know them and give them cuddles and affection. I'm excited to care for them. However, at the same time, I'm scared and nervous. I have one emotional thought that crosses my mind every so often which is...What if I regret this decision to become a parent? What if it ruins our lives? LoL. I feel guilty when this thought crosses my mind. Is this normal for parents to feel? I suppose more than anyone, Adan and I won't truly have this feeling. We've worked too hard to make this baby happen. Every single step of this journey not only took bravery and positive thinking (and money!) but it has also taken careful decision-making and constant resolve. Unlike you straight people who have babies on accident and on a whim all the time! We had to actually like WANT this baby. Bwahahaa. But, even so, I still have this terrified inkling that we're in over our heads. Once that baby is in our arms, I believe that all of that will float away and it'll just be love and happiness and excitement.
One thing I've been a tad frustrated or overwhelmed by lately is how much advice we've been given about the delivery. I mean, I appreciate the advice from my friends and family and everyone and am super thankful for it and always listen to it. However, the problem isn't the amount of advice. It's that everyone has told us something different. From our friends to fellow moms to doctors and nurses. Legit everyone's said a different thing to us. Some say she'll take forever in delivery. Some say she'll be quick. Some say we should demand this from our doctors and nurses. Some say demand that from our doctors and nurses. But yeah. We've talked with our surrogate about what the delivery will look like. We've talked a bit with the doctor. We have our forms and documents made by our lawyers to bring to the hospital. All should be set and meticulously planned. But at the same time I know we will need to be adaptable. Crazy things may happen. I guess what I am saying is...Maybe it's best to just go into this situation with no expectations. Yes, I need to come in with knowledge...But I also need to come in with an open-mind, flexibility, and understanding that everything will be alright, no matter how it goes. I need to hold in my heart that everyone is doing the best for our baby. I'm usually a pretty "go with the flow" kind of guy. And I need to embrace that attitude.
Lastly, though we may not be prepared psychologically for this baby, we're def ready physically for the baby. Not only do I have my diaper bags packed and our diaper changing stations ready and cabinets organized, but we're also ready with the bedrooms. Over the last year, we've been adding bedrooms for the kids, with Adan doing the building and myself doing the shopping. Haha. Seriously Adan has done amazing. With the cost of this baby, we have a very tight budget. And we have tight spaces! Our small ranch with one bathroom is only 1,000 square feet. Thankfully, Adan researched and learned almost everything on YouTube and was able to build us some pretty cool rooms. Including the nursery.
For years, Selena and Hazel slept in the upstairs bedroom. Well, we built them a new bedroom in the basement. It is super small. But it works. Selena's got a lot of art, books, and thrift store treasures. And Hazel's got a lot of clothes and stuffed animals! It's never this clean. Haha. But it's a cute little room with nice Ikea furniture and decor. It works.
Jakey's room. This bedroom used to hold Selena, Jakey, AND Hazel when we first got the kids! Then it was Selena and Hazel's room. Now it's Jakey's "man cave." We really didn't do too much with this room except get him some new furniture, TV, computer, gaming chair, and decor. He was pretty easy to please. Typical guy, I guess. As long as he had his video games and TV, he was cool. His room is upstairs along with Adan and I and the nursery. We def should do his floors and stuff sometime!
And now onto the important room...The nursery! If anyone remembers what that room used to look like (it was Jakey's old room and Ella's before him), it's completely different now and a total "glow up" in my opinion. Although for years I wanted a "Disney theme" for my nursery, more specifically a "Disney Land theme", we decided to go with a Peter Pan and Neverland theme. I am not sure why that changed. I think a lot of it was I felt a Disney theme might need to have a lighter color vibe with white trim and I wasn't a huge fan of that because that's what our dining room has. I wanted a sort of "dark" and cozy feel to my nursery, something that gave the feeling of a calm and secluded forest. I don't know. Maybe part of it was that one of my favorite rides at Disney Land is Peter Pan's Flight. It's a magical ride that always seems to give me goosebumps and it even makes me teary-eyed. And I adore a vintage Disney vibe. Not a 90's animated movies vibe or god-forbid a Frozen era vibe but more of that 1950's and 60's sensibility. I'm obsessed with that Disney era. So yeah, this is what we went with.
Some may say it's a little masculine and fits boys more...But I'd tell them that "gender is a social construct" (duh!) and it'll fit our baby perfectly. Our little girl can dig the adventures of Peter Pan and the Lost Boys and pirates. Just like Wendy did. In a way, Wendy was way before her time. "She liked boy things!" Besides, the baby won't even know or care about the room decor. In reality, the room should be one we (Adan and I and the older kids) will enjoy spending time in. And it is. It's enchanting and fanciful and inspiring and exactly what I wanted. A Disney wonderland right in my own home. And in two years, the baby's going to want something different anyways :-)
The artist who painted our mural (the image at the top of this blog) did an awesome job. It's exactly what I dreamed. It's like the Disney animators from years past came and painted it themselves. It's perfect. You look at it and feel like you're flying, on your way to Neverland, where you never grow up. Her Instagram is @mi.salgado. Go check her out. And if you ever need a mural done or any kind of art, contact her! Support your local artists!
By next post we'll have a baby. And I'm sure I'll let you know all about it :-)
-Joe's Out!
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