"Lets See Who This Really Is!"
I can't believe it's been a month since my last update! What the hell happened to August? Anyways, life's been busy, even though the surrogacy journey really hasn't been. But here's a few of the happenings...
We are currently waiting to meet our new surrogate. Yeah, I know guys, we still have not met her! I don't totally want to "say this out loud" but I'm not sure I'm digging her. Long story short, she's been somewhat difficult to make plans with. After being told several times by The Surrogacy Center that we'd meet closer to Milwaukee (she is from Sheboygan) to better accommodate Adan and I since our previous surrogate changed her mind and backed out, she ignored it and still kept wanting us to meet in her neck of the woods. I expressed my dismay. Not because I didn't want to drive out to Sheboygan but because it got me worried. Is this someone that isn't flexible? Is this someone that doesn't listen? Is she selfish? Either way, I know that communication is key in this journey so I did express that to The Surrogacy Center, who we are paying to be the "middle man." They completely understood and agreed with me (it was their idea to meet near Milwaukee to begin with). They talked to Angie and it seems she understood and she didn't mean to be like that. Recently, however, she has been super busy with vacations and such and we probably won't meet her in person until September. She's so preoccupied and unavailable apparently that she cannot even make time to discuss a date that works for both of us. Hmm. We shall see. I hope that when we meet her our minds are changed and she really "bowls us over." Although I am not someone who thinks we need to love our surrogate, I do think we should probably like her. I'll let you all know how that meeting goes once it happens.
Our loan through BMO Harries finally has been accepted and received. We did not get the amount we would've liked. Since this journey could cost around $100,000, we were hoping to get about $50,000. We are only getting $33,000 with this Home Equity Line of Credit. This development has got Adan and I very stressed. We legit have no idea how we will pay for this. But we've already closed our eyes and jumped. Crossed our fingers. No turning back now. I think what makes it more scary for us though is that deep down we think someone will figure us out. They'll discover that we don't have enough money for this and they'll stop our surrogacy journey dead in it's tracks. What is that called? Imposter Syndrome? I think this is such a common, powerful fear. That people will "figure you out." Everybody's wearing masks. Everybody's imposters. In work. In life. In relationships. And it's terrifying to think that someone might pull the mask off like Scooby-Doo. Adan and are imposters, faking to everybody involved that we can afford this. Old carnies dressed as ghosts. Haha.
By the way, we have a $16,000 bill being owed this week. Pray for us :-)
Lastly, Adan and I got our genetic testing results. Erika, our egg donor from California, tested positive for two genetic conditions. We had to get our genes tested to confirm that we don't have the same exact genetic conditions. If so, there'd be a chance for either our child to have the genetic disorder or to be a carrier of it themselves. Even though straight people are taking their chances at these genetic conditions every single day without even knowing it, we, and people in our boat, have to get genetic testing to make sure that this doesn't happen. I am okay with that. We want everything to go perfectly. As do the doctors. A lot is riding on this stuff.
Anyways, Adan's Sema4 Testing came back completely negative. Of course it did. Clean bastard. He's got no genetic conditions at all. I came back with three. He beat me again. He also won the battle of more sperm. Smh. Most people are told that they're carriers of about 3-5 conditions. So it's 100% normal. But it's annoying that Adan has nothing. LoL. What the fricken heck are they eating over there in Mexico? Corn and tequila? Producing plentiful, pristine little sperm one taco at a time.
On the other hand, I am a carrier of three recessive diseases. That means that if my reproductive partner has one of these conditions, there's a 25% risk that our child would be born with this condition. The first disease is Bardet Biedl Syndrome. It's rare, and the highly variable symptoms include retinal degeneration, kidney failure, and obesity. Oh, and the symptom of POLYDACTYLY! Extra digits of the hands or feet! WTF!?! Jesus Christ. That one's scary. We dodged a bullet there. The second disease is Smith-Lemli-Opitz Syndrome. This developmental disorder affects many parts of the body and is characterized by distinctive facial features, learning problems, and behavioral problems. Oh, and it also makes your baby have MICROCEPHALY! What's that you ask? A SMALL HEAD SIZE! Holy Mother of God. We dodged another bullet. It's like a war of genes out here! I mean, a small head size? Who wants that? Then again, I have a ginormous head that I got from my Dad. And I've been able to live with that just fine. The third genetic condition I'm a carrier for is Tay-Sachs Disease. This disorder results in the destruction of nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord. This usually becomes apparent in a human at three to six months of age with the baby losing the ability to turn over, sit, or crawl. Darn worrisome stuff!
This has all been a great reminder of not only how amazing our science has become but also how exquisite and knotty the human body is. We're all made up of all these minuscule genes and who we partner with can lead to either a healthy fetus or the opposite. And unless every single one of us has this Sema4 testing done and we all inform each other of our results, we'll never know until it's "too late." Until Lil' Johnny comes out with six fingers and a small head. I'm trying to find some metaphor or symbolism for this...We're all locks and keys? We're all puzzle pieces? We're all
rainbows and pots of gold?
My question to you is if you would want to know your genetic conditions and the ones of your partner before you even start dating them? Like imagine if that is something that someday is posted on our dating website profiles or even Facebook pages. A list of our genetic conditions right next to our smiling profile pictures. Revealing what's under the mask from the start. Sounds like a Black Mirror episode, hey? Would that lead to a Utopian society with no genetic disorders? Or would people still take a chance on love and ignore that information? Would they close their eyes and jump? Cross their fingers? Like Adan and I have?
Well, I guess that's it. I'll try to write soon with another update. Thanks all for reading!
We are currently waiting to meet our new surrogate. Yeah, I know guys, we still have not met her! I don't totally want to "say this out loud" but I'm not sure I'm digging her. Long story short, she's been somewhat difficult to make plans with. After being told several times by The Surrogacy Center that we'd meet closer to Milwaukee (she is from Sheboygan) to better accommodate Adan and I since our previous surrogate changed her mind and backed out, she ignored it and still kept wanting us to meet in her neck of the woods. I expressed my dismay. Not because I didn't want to drive out to Sheboygan but because it got me worried. Is this someone that isn't flexible? Is this someone that doesn't listen? Is she selfish? Either way, I know that communication is key in this journey so I did express that to The Surrogacy Center, who we are paying to be the "middle man." They completely understood and agreed with me (it was their idea to meet near Milwaukee to begin with). They talked to Angie and it seems she understood and she didn't mean to be like that. Recently, however, she has been super busy with vacations and such and we probably won't meet her in person until September. She's so preoccupied and unavailable apparently that she cannot even make time to discuss a date that works for both of us. Hmm. We shall see. I hope that when we meet her our minds are changed and she really "bowls us over." Although I am not someone who thinks we need to love our surrogate, I do think we should probably like her. I'll let you all know how that meeting goes once it happens.
Our loan through BMO Harries finally has been accepted and received. We did not get the amount we would've liked. Since this journey could cost around $100,000, we were hoping to get about $50,000. We are only getting $33,000 with this Home Equity Line of Credit. This development has got Adan and I very stressed. We legit have no idea how we will pay for this. But we've already closed our eyes and jumped. Crossed our fingers. No turning back now. I think what makes it more scary for us though is that deep down we think someone will figure us out. They'll discover that we don't have enough money for this and they'll stop our surrogacy journey dead in it's tracks. What is that called? Imposter Syndrome? I think this is such a common, powerful fear. That people will "figure you out." Everybody's wearing masks. Everybody's imposters. In work. In life. In relationships. And it's terrifying to think that someone might pull the mask off like Scooby-Doo. Adan and are imposters, faking to everybody involved that we can afford this. Old carnies dressed as ghosts. Haha.
By the way, we have a $16,000 bill being owed this week. Pray for us :-)
Lastly, Adan and I got our genetic testing results. Erika, our egg donor from California, tested positive for two genetic conditions. We had to get our genes tested to confirm that we don't have the same exact genetic conditions. If so, there'd be a chance for either our child to have the genetic disorder or to be a carrier of it themselves. Even though straight people are taking their chances at these genetic conditions every single day without even knowing it, we, and people in our boat, have to get genetic testing to make sure that this doesn't happen. I am okay with that. We want everything to go perfectly. As do the doctors. A lot is riding on this stuff.
Anyways, Adan's Sema4 Testing came back completely negative. Of course it did. Clean bastard. He's got no genetic conditions at all. I came back with three. He beat me again. He also won the battle of more sperm. Smh. Most people are told that they're carriers of about 3-5 conditions. So it's 100% normal. But it's annoying that Adan has nothing. LoL. What the fricken heck are they eating over there in Mexico? Corn and tequila? Producing plentiful, pristine little sperm one taco at a time.
On the other hand, I am a carrier of three recessive diseases. That means that if my reproductive partner has one of these conditions, there's a 25% risk that our child would be born with this condition. The first disease is Bardet Biedl Syndrome. It's rare, and the highly variable symptoms include retinal degeneration, kidney failure, and obesity. Oh, and the symptom of POLYDACTYLY! Extra digits of the hands or feet! WTF!?! Jesus Christ. That one's scary. We dodged a bullet there. The second disease is Smith-Lemli-Opitz Syndrome. This developmental disorder affects many parts of the body and is characterized by distinctive facial features, learning problems, and behavioral problems. Oh, and it also makes your baby have MICROCEPHALY! What's that you ask? A SMALL HEAD SIZE! Holy Mother of God. We dodged another bullet. It's like a war of genes out here! I mean, a small head size? Who wants that? Then again, I have a ginormous head that I got from my Dad. And I've been able to live with that just fine. The third genetic condition I'm a carrier for is Tay-Sachs Disease. This disorder results in the destruction of nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord. This usually becomes apparent in a human at three to six months of age with the baby losing the ability to turn over, sit, or crawl. Darn worrisome stuff!
This has all been a great reminder of not only how amazing our science has become but also how exquisite and knotty the human body is. We're all made up of all these minuscule genes and who we partner with can lead to either a healthy fetus or the opposite. And unless every single one of us has this Sema4 testing done and we all inform each other of our results, we'll never know until it's "too late." Until Lil' Johnny comes out with six fingers and a small head. I'm trying to find some metaphor or symbolism for this...We're all locks and keys? We're all puzzle pieces? We're all
rainbows and pots of gold?
My question to you is if you would want to know your genetic conditions and the ones of your partner before you even start dating them? Like imagine if that is something that someday is posted on our dating website profiles or even Facebook pages. A list of our genetic conditions right next to our smiling profile pictures. Revealing what's under the mask from the start. Sounds like a Black Mirror episode, hey? Would that lead to a Utopian society with no genetic disorders? Or would people still take a chance on love and ignore that information? Would they close their eyes and jump? Cross their fingers? Like Adan and I have?
Well, I guess that's it. I'll try to write soon with another update. Thanks all for reading!
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