Birds and Bees and Everything In Between
Hello, all!
A few things to update you on. And a couple questions I need your assistance with. So, here goes...
Our egg donor will be flying out to Madison on June 27th. She's from California and she is Mexican and she looks a little bit like Adan. Anyways, we have to pay for her travel expenses. Adan and I did not know that our donor has to come out to Wisconsin twice. I'm not sure how we missed that or what, but either way it kinda sucks. She also gets to bring a guest for the second trip because it's about a week long! Wha?! Lucky! All in all it'll probably cost us an extra $4000. I keep trying to remind myself that the Wisconsin Fertility Institute is an amazing place. When you walk into the building, you can feel it. There's people there, mostly women, who love what they do. They're trustworthy and positive and passionate and kind. They know what they're doing. And I trust that what they're doing is right. They are not trying to rip us off or do needless things to have this baby. They're making sure everything goes perfectly. That everything is safe and healthy. And that's what we want. But boy oh boy this money thing...It can be more than trying. I hope all goes great with our egg donor. And, honestly, if I were her, I'd be naturally happier if I had a friend with me during this process. And who wouldn't desire a more chipper egg if possible?
Both Adan and I froze our sperm last week. One of these little spermys will essentially become "the baby" if all goes well. We froze the sperm because I have upcoming travel planned...To Florida and Austria and possibly Mexico. We need to have healthy, pre-travel sperm. It cost $875 each to freeze our sperm! Ah! We will most likely be using my sperm. But if something goes wrong or even if we want to have Adan's baby in the future, we decided to freeze his sperm too. Frozen sperm last forever! Isn't that crazy? I mean, y'all could be making my babies long after I die, if you wanted. Who wouldn't want more of me around? Haha! Anyways, the whole thing, as always, was super awkward. We had to give our urine and blood and get a super invasive physical (like entering prison invasive!) and then give our sperm. Although the Wisconsin Fertility Institute made it as comfortable as possible, I still felt violated. LoL. They literally investigated EVERY PART OF MY BODY. Yeah, don't picture that in your mind. Stop! Don't! Ugh! Now I just hope my sperm were, well, happy when they were released. I don't want no stressed sperm making our baby.
Speaking of sperm, I also talked to the three older kids a little bit about this whole process. I feel like they should truly understand how this is all happening. That it's not just magic. Or that, god forbid, their Uncle Joe had sex with a woman to make this happen. It was also a nice chance to talk to them about "the birds and the bees." Although cringy and awkward, it went well. Most of them understood that my sperm would be going inside an egg to produce a baby. But then they asked "what's sperm?" And that was completely terrifying to me! Where do I start? I attempted to explain it...Without being too graphic. They also didn't quite understand that the egg would be put inside a surrogate and that the baby would really only have the blood of me and the egg donor. But they seemed to understand it after my talk. It felt good to educate them on this. But like any teacher I felt, in retrospect, I could've explained it better or more powerfully. Meh. Whatever. They'll survive, right? I mean, I learned all I know about sex from my friends and pornos. Bah! And look how I turned out!
By the way, I have decided to not totally explain it all to Hazel. I might just tell her a stork brought the baby. I want her to live in a magical, Disney-fied world as long as possible :-)
Selena said something that has crossed my mind before but it was cool for a child to realize it...She said "so a white man and his Mexican husband will be making a baby with a Mexican woman and African woman?" Even she understands how complex and strange and beautiful this all is. What a wonderful world we live in that we can make this happen. I feel so blessed to be alive during these times.
Finally, I have a couple questions for you all. This might be a question that I am asking way too early cause this whole thing, practically a house of cards in my opinion, could come crashing down at any moment. But I have been wondering...When we make the baby announcement and when we have a baby shower, do we involve the surrogate? Should she be present in any of it? Or...Is it our baby and we should celebrate that? Would it be weird and even wrong to involve the surrogate? Or would it be loving and celebratory? Let me know what you think in the comments below!
Thanks all for reading! And thanks for the Lady Lions who I was able to vent to about these things during our fun-filled weekend! Love all the support we are getting from everybody!
A few things to update you on. And a couple questions I need your assistance with. So, here goes...
Our egg donor will be flying out to Madison on June 27th. She's from California and she is Mexican and she looks a little bit like Adan. Anyways, we have to pay for her travel expenses. Adan and I did not know that our donor has to come out to Wisconsin twice. I'm not sure how we missed that or what, but either way it kinda sucks. She also gets to bring a guest for the second trip because it's about a week long! Wha?! Lucky! All in all it'll probably cost us an extra $4000. I keep trying to remind myself that the Wisconsin Fertility Institute is an amazing place. When you walk into the building, you can feel it. There's people there, mostly women, who love what they do. They're trustworthy and positive and passionate and kind. They know what they're doing. And I trust that what they're doing is right. They are not trying to rip us off or do needless things to have this baby. They're making sure everything goes perfectly. That everything is safe and healthy. And that's what we want. But boy oh boy this money thing...It can be more than trying. I hope all goes great with our egg donor. And, honestly, if I were her, I'd be naturally happier if I had a friend with me during this process. And who wouldn't desire a more chipper egg if possible?
Both Adan and I froze our sperm last week. One of these little spermys will essentially become "the baby" if all goes well. We froze the sperm because I have upcoming travel planned...To Florida and Austria and possibly Mexico. We need to have healthy, pre-travel sperm. It cost $875 each to freeze our sperm! Ah! We will most likely be using my sperm. But if something goes wrong or even if we want to have Adan's baby in the future, we decided to freeze his sperm too. Frozen sperm last forever! Isn't that crazy? I mean, y'all could be making my babies long after I die, if you wanted. Who wouldn't want more of me around? Haha! Anyways, the whole thing, as always, was super awkward. We had to give our urine and blood and get a super invasive physical (like entering prison invasive!) and then give our sperm. Although the Wisconsin Fertility Institute made it as comfortable as possible, I still felt violated. LoL. They literally investigated EVERY PART OF MY BODY. Yeah, don't picture that in your mind. Stop! Don't! Ugh! Now I just hope my sperm were, well, happy when they were released. I don't want no stressed sperm making our baby.
Speaking of sperm, I also talked to the three older kids a little bit about this whole process. I feel like they should truly understand how this is all happening. That it's not just magic. Or that, god forbid, their Uncle Joe had sex with a woman to make this happen. It was also a nice chance to talk to them about "the birds and the bees." Although cringy and awkward, it went well. Most of them understood that my sperm would be going inside an egg to produce a baby. But then they asked "what's sperm?" And that was completely terrifying to me! Where do I start? I attempted to explain it...Without being too graphic. They also didn't quite understand that the egg would be put inside a surrogate and that the baby would really only have the blood of me and the egg donor. But they seemed to understand it after my talk. It felt good to educate them on this. But like any teacher I felt, in retrospect, I could've explained it better or more powerfully. Meh. Whatever. They'll survive, right? I mean, I learned all I know about sex from my friends and pornos. Bah! And look how I turned out!
By the way, I have decided to not totally explain it all to Hazel. I might just tell her a stork brought the baby. I want her to live in a magical, Disney-fied world as long as possible :-)
Selena said something that has crossed my mind before but it was cool for a child to realize it...She said "so a white man and his Mexican husband will be making a baby with a Mexican woman and African woman?" Even she understands how complex and strange and beautiful this all is. What a wonderful world we live in that we can make this happen. I feel so blessed to be alive during these times.
Finally, I have a couple questions for you all. This might be a question that I am asking way too early cause this whole thing, practically a house of cards in my opinion, could come crashing down at any moment. But I have been wondering...When we make the baby announcement and when we have a baby shower, do we involve the surrogate? Should she be present in any of it? Or...Is it our baby and we should celebrate that? Would it be weird and even wrong to involve the surrogate? Or would it be loving and celebratory? Let me know what you think in the comments below!
Thanks all for reading! And thanks for the Lady Lions who I was able to vent to about these things during our fun-filled weekend! Love all the support we are getting from everybody!
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