Two 4 One

This is a step we completed a few weeks ago.  But here’s what ya missed:

After some research, we chose The Surrogacy Center in Madison to assist us in this very complex endeavor.  Essentially, this program will hold our hands through the entire daunting process, most importantly helping us find and choose a woman to be our surrogate.  They’ll also be there for us, giving us personal attention, as the woman goes through the pregnancy stages and gives birth to our baby, and after we take him/her home.  Adan and I went to Madison to meet with a lady at The Surrogacy Center and we really liked her and the program. She seemed warm, kind, full of knowledge, and simply seemed very happy for us.  She wanted this for us, we could tell. She discussed with us the step-by-step instructions through this surrogacy process. Three significant takeaways:

1. This process is super complex!  There are intricate, significant legalities for all parties involved, for Adan and I, our surrogate, the egg donor.  We obviously have to get a lawyer. More money. Ugh! There are a ton of complex medical decisions to make too. One of the biggest ones?  What if we find out that the baby will be born with a health defect like Down Syndrome? Do we want to keep the baby? Abort it? Have the mother carry it to term?  Or not? Adan and I actually disagree a bit with this but we’ll have to confirm these sorts of decisions before any of this journey even begins in writing, “signing at the dotted lines” eventually.  It’s overwhelming and exhausting and frankly hopeless if you look at the big picture of everything but we’ll take it all step-by-step and day-by-day. We can always get at least one thing done every day or every week. Once that task is complete, we’ll move on to the next thing.

2. This is gonna cost a lot of money!  Obvi. They said it will cost anywhere from $75,000 to $175,000.  We are still not sure how we’re going to pay for this. But as billions of straight couples have done through the ages, we’ll “cross that bridge once we get there.”  Right? YOLO. We’ll probably take out a bank loan...It might not be the smartest however it could be our only option. We may take out a home equity loan or take money from my 401(k) though I do not want to do that at all!  I really wanna retire in Disney World, so yeah. We could use an online lender and take out an unsecured loan Or we could Crowdfund. This is another thing I do not want to do. I’d hate to ask people for money...And I kinda want this baby to be ours.  Not everybody else’s. There are a few grants I could apply for. Which, you all know me, I most likely will apply for. However, these take a lot of time, effort, and energy...So we shall see.

3. One of the most interesting things the lady from The Surrogacy Center told us is that we could have twins, one of the babies mine and one of them Adan’s.  As she said this, she was giggling and buzzing with excitement, even she thought the idea was pretty amazing. It’s definitely an option for us and we’re thinking about it a lot.  Although it’d be a little more money and the chances are a little less likely for success, it’s something we may do if the dominoes line up correctly. How fun would that be? :-)

That’s it for today!  !