Joe Grows a Family

Just fyi...I want to stay away from the gritty details of this post however I also want to be honest with all aspects of this process.  So people can stay woke about it all :-) A couple of weeks ago we did our first lab tests of our blood, urine, and sperm.  This first test is to essentially see how healthy Adan and I are.  It's also a chance for the doctors at Wisconsin Fertility Institute to observe whose sperm is stronger and more viable and whose will be a better match with the egg donor.  The sperm donated during this test will not become our baby.  And I am glad for that! I went to St. Luke's on my own because Adan went a few days before me.  I was nervous.  I hate hospitals.  And blood.  I really hate shots!  When I got stung by a scorpion in Mexico last summer, the I.V. is what almost made me faint.  My mom used to tell me that it took three nurses to hold me down when I got my shots as a boy.  Anyways, the lady at ...

A few weeks ago Adan and I drove up to Madison to get a couple steps completed.  Here’s what they are:            First, we completed a Psychological Evaluation.  This is something that is required in the surrogacy journey.  (I know.  I’m thinking the same thing as you.  Why don’t straight people have to take a Psychological Evaluation before having babies?  Yeah.  Same.  Straight people have it so incredibly easy!)  We paid a hefty price to meet with a psychologist and take a Psychological Evaluation survey.  This survey had hundreds of questions.  We met with a psychologist.  She asked us deep, personal questions about our lives.  She was very...Madison.  A hippy to the max.  She sat on her comfy chair cross-legged, long gray hair, her chin in her hand, nodding as Adan and I confessed our life stories.  She asked us about our childhoods, our adolescence and early adul...

This is a step we completed a few weeks ago.  But here’s what ya missed: After some research, we chose The Surrogacy Center in Madison to assist us in this very complex endeavor.  Essentially, this program will hold our hands through the entire daunting process, most importantly helping us find and choose a woman to be our surrogate.  They’ll also be there for us, giving us personal attention, as the woman goes through the pregnancy stages and gives birth to our baby, and after we take him/her home.  Adan and I went to Madison to meet with a lady at The Surrogacy Center and we really liked her and the program. She seemed warm, kind, full of knowledge, and simply seemed very happy for us.  She wanted this for us, we could tell. She discussed with us the step-by-step instructions through this surrogacy process. Three significant takeaways: 1. This process is super complex!  There are intricate, significant legalities for all parties invol...

Ever since I was young I knew I wanted to have a family.  You know, like, a “normal” one. A happy one. A safe one.  Like the one I’d seen on television. The Wonder Years. Full House.  Growing Pains. I probably watched a million hours of television and movies as a boy, reading books too.  I loved stories. Lived for them, in fact. The family I had wasn’t quite like the families I had seen in those stories.  I yearned for one though. Deep in my bones. I laid in bed at night envisioning the perfect little family around the dinner table, mom in her apron and dad with his coffee and newspaper, kids playing board games on the shag carpet.  I think I learned early on I’d have to create that family for myself someday. I remember the way in which my mom would clean the house, wiping the tables so that the wood glowed warm and pristine.  I’d watch her as a boy in awe. The way she did it was a work of art. She had such purpose. Such love f...